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On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are often succeeded by a “crash”, during which he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his conduct, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from those around him. He began to think he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having already reached that conclusion on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they harbor feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for decades, definitions vary what people refer to as the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people keep it private, because of widespread prejudice around the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Though three-quarters of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are males, studies points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes a young adult who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she says, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I either go into defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples as a child. It’s been a process of understanding over the years which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that as a kid,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were belittling me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for psychological counseling on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his mental health status, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number