Former England leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the illness.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and not wanting to really process that at the minute," he said.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We understand that. But there is definitely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his present wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the condition deteriorates.
"Maybe that's trauma or perhaps I handle situations uniquely, and when I have the details, it's easier," he added.
Early Signs
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a series of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately quite moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't feel sick
"My indications are rather minimal. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I remain competent to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a one-third of people within a twelve months and over half within 24 months of detection, as swallowing and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard decline.
"It's not me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Talking from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he discussed informing his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was rather devastating," Moody said.
"We were seated on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and started removing the drops off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody stated the focus was staying in the now.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be so strongly focused on just accepting and savoring each moment now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been very fortunate that the sole decision I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those years back."
Athlete Association
Elite athletes are disproportionately impacted by MND, with research suggesting the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the broader public.
It is thought that by reducing the air obtainable and producing harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, strenuous exercise can initiate the condition in those already predisposed.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a tackle pad and commenced participating in collisions.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive passage of play, establishing a base for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning field goal.
Support System
Moody has already notified Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a handful of other previous players about his diagnosis, but the others will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There will be a moment when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the present, just having that kind of affection and acknowledgment that people are available is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Having accomplished it for so long a duration with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will wish to assist in every way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
